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Still getting TRIGGERED?

Updated: Apr 25

Did you ever think you were over them …you finally let go…you're living your life...and then all of a sudden you’re right back where you started?

You’re glad they're gone…you’re happy in your new life BUT why can they still make you so mad? or afraid? or sad?

Why does the thought of their new relationship still hurt so much?

The emotional pain of a divorce can leave much deeper scars than physical pain.

We have a lot of experience healing physical pain…we treat it and we know that, in time, it's likely to resolve.

But with emotional pain, we often try to push past it or go around it or ignore it.

Painful emotions are just as real as physical pain, and they hurt just as much (maybe even more.)

Did you know that the same networks of nerves in the brain that are activated when you’re burned by a hot stove also light up when you think about an ex who has rejected or hurt you?

This is called “getting triggered.”

So…what can you do if you get triggered?

- Try to stay present and count your breaths

- See if you can pivot away from the painful thoughts by doing something that brings you joy

- Go outside for a change of scenery and a change in air temperature

- Focus on how far you’ve come and how strong you’ve already proven to be

- Reconnect with yourself, love yourself…you are human and you are enough.

It’s completely normal to keep feeling the emotional hurt long after the painful incident occurred, and it's possible to learn to cope in the moment, and eventually not become triggered by your ex.


Rebecca Wolf

Divorce Coach

Certified Life Coach

Founder of HerDivorceProject

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