DOs and DON'Ts: How to Manage the Pressure to Heal
There’s so much pressure to heal from divorce…
…and it seems like everyone has a suggestion, a new method, a step-by-step process or special therapeutic technique.
Healing from post-divorce grief is often a process of trial and error. It's so personal. Everyone is different...every divorce is different.
As a divorce coach, and a daily witness to the journey of grief and healing, I can share some points for consideration that could save you some time and spare you more hurt and disappointment.
If you want to support your post-divorce healing process…
Recognize that you are grieving, and there is no timeline for you to get through it. Give yourself grace and TLC. Accept that you have to go through this period of darkness to get to the light.
Find your voice and tell your story in a safe environment. Then, shift your focus away from your past and toward your future.
Learn to have your own back and be your own best friend. Spend time every day reflecting and feeling your emotions, no matter how challenging that is. Love yourself unconditionally.
Talk to your doctor if anxiety and/or depression are keeping you stuck.
Ask for help and support from people who know first-hand what you are going through. You don’t need to go through this alone. If you don't have friends or family to lift you up, consider contacting a professional.
Invest in yourself, your growth, and your future. You’re worth it!
Scroll social sites and get sucked into other people’s stories or endlessly vent and complain. This is the fastest way get stuck.
Seek revenge. You’re expending so much energy on a person who is no longer in your life and not deserving of your precious time…save your energy for your own healing journey.
Look for an “easy button” or a “magic pill” - they don’t exist.
Over-spend, over-drink, over-eat, over-work, etc. or stuff all the emotions down and pretend they don’t exist.
Wait for someone to save you. I don't save my clients, or tell them what to do. I just facilitate...they heal themselves.
You are the one you’ve been waiting for.
By Rebecca Wolf
Certified Life Coach
Founder of Her Divorce Project and The Divorce Project