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5 Ways to Support a Friend Through Divorce

Updated: Feb 11

When we don’t know what to say or do, it is human nature to avoid complicated, emotional situations.

We have social protocols for deaths and illnesses, and for tough parenting issues, and job loss. But, when a divorce comes along, it’s tempting to freeze.

If we haven’t been on the "divorce journey" personally, or witnessed it first-hand in the past, we are often left with no framework to offer appropriate assistance.

It’s better to do nothing than do the wrong thing and make matters worse, right? Not true.

If you want to “be there” for someone, but you don’t know how…

Here are 5 ways to support a friend, family member, coworker or anyone who is grieving the loss of a marriage:

1. Listen more…talk less…just keep in touch regularly.

2. Gather information and offer resources, but refrain from giving advice. Click here for a Quick Start Guide to finding a good lawyer and Click here for a Quick Start Guide to money during divorce.

3. Keep inviting your friend to do the same things you did together before the divorce. Take dinner to them or go out for coffee.

4. Help with the things their partner would have done.

5. Lighten the mood with humor…cute baby animal videos and funny memes are welcome (just don’t bash the ex).

Most people don’t need advice. They want to be heard. They want to know that they are not alone and that you care. They are afraid of being judged and they don’t want to compromise your friendship by constantly oversharing. Your presence in their life is enough.

I've experienced my own divorce and I'm a divorce coach in private practice. There are many other resources for you and your loved ones on my website:

I also have a free FaceBook group for woman who are managing a divorce or its aftermath. It's called Her Divorce Project. Inside this unique sisterhood, we're working together to leave the past behind and fall in love with life again.

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