5 THINGS I learned about divorce recovery from a 90-year-old
Updated: May 2
At the time of my divorce, my Dad was 90 years old. I was losing my mind (and so many other things) and my Dad was my rock. You see, he’d gotten divorced after a 13-year marriage. He had been blindsided, much like I was. Through the tears, in those first few days, I managed to ask him…how do you live through this??? Here is what he said:
1. Time and Talk: This is not what I wanted to hear at that moment but, looking back…this is the absolute truth. Time heals. Talking is necessary to process.
2. Take the high road: Don’t feed the monster of hate of anger. DO feel all those painful feelings, let the emotions wash over you but…do your best to act in constructive and rational ways. Forgive yourself if this doesn’t always happen. You will be proud of yourself later.
3. Exercise: Move your body. Your body produces feel-good endorphins when you do.
4. Talk to yourself: Repeat every morning: “I am strong. I am getting better and better every day in every way.” This is really what he said!! He gave me a mantra and affirmations. He didn’t call it that, but that’s exactly what it is.
5. Go outdoors. Just leave your 4 walls for a moment (or longer if you can). Breathe the fresh air. See yourself as one small point on the Earth. Imagine that there are many other small points who feel like you do, who just stepped outside their door for a moment. Remember that you are not alone.
Be strong, my friends.
(Yep – that’s a picture of Dad and me)
By Rebecca Wolf
Divorce Recovery Coach
Certified Life Coach
Founder of Her Divorce Project