5 Ways to Support a Loved One Through Divorce

5 Ways to Support a Loved One Through Divorce

When we don’t know what to say or do, it is human nature to avoid complicated, emotional situations. 

We have social protocols for deaths and illnesses, and for tough parenting issues, and job loss. But, when a divorce comes along, it’s tempting to freeze. 

If we haven’t been on the "divorce journey" personally, or witnessed it first-hand in the past, we are often left with no framework to offer appropriate assistance. 

It’s better to do nothing than do the wrong thing and make matters worse, right? Not true.

If you want to “be there” for someone, but you don’t know how…

...here are 5 ways to help a friend or loved one who is going through a divorce

1. Listen more...talk less...just keep in touch regularly.

2. Gather information and offer resources, but refrain from giving advice.

3. Keep inviting them to do the same things you did together before the divorce. Take dinner to them or go out for coffee. 

4. Help with the things their partner would have done.

5. Lighten the mood with humor…cute baby animal videos and funny memes are welcome (just don’t bash the ex). 

Most people don’t need advice. They want to be heard. They want to know they're not alone and that you care. They are afraid of being judged and they don’t want to compromise your friendship by constantly oversharing.

Your presence in their life is enough.

I've experienced my own divorce and I'm a divorce coach in private practice. There are many other resources for you and your loved ones on my website: www.rebeccawolfcoaching.com

There is also a free FaceBook group for woman who are managing divorce or its aftermath. It's called Her Divorce Project, and I founded it as a safe and supportive space for women. Inside this unique sisterhood, we're working together to leave the past behind and fall in love with life again.